If you’re thinking about fostering or adopting, then there are a number of things you will have to consider before you make your final decision. Although in legal terms fostering and adopting are different, they both represent the same challenges – being responsible for a child in need. No matter what type of care you decide on, you must always talk it though with your husband, wife or partner, it’s a decision that will greatly affect both your lives.
If you are seriously considering foster care or adoption, then there are various local government training classes to prepare you for your application. Not all applications are accepted first time around, and that’s because (quite rightly) the screening process is very strict. These training classes will also prepare you for the rejection of a foster child (the child has to want to stay with you), as well as many other elements that will test your emotions, personality and even your relationship with your loved one.
Family and Friend Support
One of the things that social services will take into account is the support you’ll be able to receive from family and friends that are close to you. Being a foster parent can be extremely stressful and emotionally overwhelming at times, and the social services need to know that you’ll be able to count on people you trust to help you out in times of need.
If you don’t have any type of support system in place, whether it’s just you going for lunch with a friend while your partner looks after the child, then things will get too much – every foster parent needs a vent. If you don’t have anyone, then there are support groups put in place by local governments and councils, so there’s always a place to turn.
Fostering isn’t for everyone, and one of the biggest indicators that you won’t be able to succeed is patience. If you’re not a patient person, and you have the type of personality where you like to see instant results, then you probably won’t be accepted as a foster parent. It takes time to build up a relationship with a foster child, just like it would any other person that you’ve just met, so if you’re not willing to see though the tough times that come with the good times, then fostering isn’t for you. Contact Capstone Foster Care if you would like to know more about becoming a foster parent.
Knowing How To Communicate With The Foster Child
Sadly, there are a large amount of foster children that were physically or emotionally abused by their parents before being put into care. One of the biggest mistakes a new foster parent can make is to assume that that the child is thankful to be out of an abusive home, and grateful to be in a safe and secure environment.
In actual fact, this is not the case, and with many foster children, abuse and emotional neglect is all they know – it’s actually abnormal for them to experience love and attention. This is why you can’t smother a new foster child, and provide them with countless things that they’ve never had. As a foster parent, you’ll need to examine your expectations, and social workers will help you to do this. You’ll rarely see positive results straight away in foster care, however over time you’ll be able to gain the trust of your foster child.
David is a passionate advocate about fostering and adoption and looks to raise awareness when possible.